{"product_id":"veteran-of-the-bullshit-wars™-crewneck-unisex-sweatshirt","title":"Veteran of the Bullshit Wars™ Crewneck Unisex Sweatshirt","description":"Official morale and recovery apparel for experienced operators. Some battles teach lessons. Some battles teach boundaries. Some battles teach you to mute the group chat. 🤣\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis Veteran of the Bullshit Wars™ crewneck recognizes distinguished service in the ongoing campaign against:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unnecessary drama\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weaponized ambiguity\u003cbr\u003e\n• Passive-aggressive communications\u003cbr\u003e\n• Emotional guerrilla warfare\u003cbr\u003e\n• Meetings that should have been emails\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shituations of both internal and external origin\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeaturing the official Veteran of the Bullshit Wars™ insignia, this sweatshirt is authorized for deployment during:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Recovery operations\u003cbr\u003e\n• Coffee acquisition missions\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weekend leave\u003cbr\u003e\n• Boundary maintenance exercises\u003cbr\u003e\n• Strategic disengagement maneuvers\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nField Doctrine: Not every signal requires action. Not every opinion requires engagement. Not every battle deserves a response.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMany veterans report significant improvements in morale after learning this distinction. 🤣\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPotential Decorations Earned:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n🏅 Distinguished Recovery Medal\u003cbr\u003e\n🏅 Order of the Golden Cow Pie\u003cbr\u003e\n🏅 Neurarrative Survival Ribbon\u003cbr\u003e\n🏅 Lifeforce Preservation Citation\u003cbr\u003e\n🏅 Advanced Boundary Maintenance Award\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWarning: Wearing this sweatshirt does not automatically confer wisdom, emotional regulation, enlightenment, or immunity from human nonsense.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt may, however, help fellow veterans identify one another in the wild.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nHydrate.\u003cbr\u003e\nMaintain QINTE.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nObserve First.\u003cbr\u003e\nAssume Last.\u003cbr\u003e\nStay Free.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n— General Fiðrildi\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n🦋⚔️📡\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nVeteran of the Bullshit Wars™\u003cbr\u003e\nOfficial Morale \u0026amp; Recovery Apparel\u003cbr\u003e\nFifth Position Training Command\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 96% recycled polyester, 4% elastane for manufacturing in the US\/Mexico\u003cbr\u003e\n• 95% recycled polyester, 5% elastane for manufacturing in Latvia\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight (may vary by 5%): 9.08 oz.\/yd.² (308 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Soft cotton-feel face\u003cbr\u003e\n• Brushed fleece fabric inside\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Overlock seams\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank components sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nAge restrictions: For adults\u003cbr\u003e\nEU Warranty: 2 years\u003cbr\u003e\nOther compliance information: Meets the flammability, and formaldehyde, lead, cadmium, phthalates, azo dyes, bisphenols and mercury level requirements.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eSimverseOS\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb\u003eSINDEN VENTURES LIMITED\u003c\/b\u003e ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at \u003cb\u003egpsr@sindenventures.com\u003c\/b\u003e. You can also write to us at \u003cb\u003esee EU representative information\u003c\/b\u003e or\u003cb\u003e Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWAIST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHIPS (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35 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