ABOUT THE DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN WEATHER

Historical Background

The Department of Human Weather (DHW) was established pursuant to the Human Weather Preparedness and Neuroecosystem Resilience Act of 1978. The legislation was passed unanimously after Congress reluctantly acknowledged several troubling findings:

  • Humans appear to spend considerable time around other humans.
  • Other humans frequently create weather.
  • Very few humans receive formal training regarding either of the above.

The Act was originally proposed after a bipartisan commission concluded that a significant percentage of human suffering appeared to result from:

  • Exposure to preventable bullshit
  • Chronic boundary failures
  • Strategic incompetence
  • Family weather systems
  • Workplace weather systems
  • Repeated attempts to negotiate with reality

The commission described these findings as: "Concerning, predictable, and somehow still surprising."

Original Mission

The Department was tasked with:

  • Improving Human Weather Literacy
  • Reducing Preventable Casualties
  • Supporting Nervous System Readiness
  • Identifying Emerging Bullshit Systems
  • Promoting Responsible Use of Humaning

Early Challenges

Initial implementation efforts encountered resistance. Many citizens objected to the Department's findings, arguing: "I am fine." Subsequent investigation revealed that many of these citizens were, in fact, not fine. This finding has been repeatedly replicated. Unfortunately, despite broad congressional support, initial implementation efforts were hindered by:

  • Limited funding
  • Bureaucratic delays
  • Human behavior
  • Additional human behavior
  • The mistaken assumption that humans would voluntarily read instruction manuals

It has therefore taken approximately 48 years to create the curriculum. The Department considers this timeline unfortunate but unsurprising.

The Casualty Problem

The Department's first major report identified a previously overlooked phenomenon: Many Casualties were being created by conditions that society had collectively agreed to treat casually. Examples included:

  • Chronic self-abandonment
  • Family friendly fire
  • Workplace nonsense
  • Boundary erosion
  • Emotional artillery
  • Long-term exposure to bullshit

The report concluded: "Casualties are often created by conditions everyone else has agreed to treat casually."

This remains one of the Department's most cited findings.

Current Operations

Today the Department of Human Weather continues to provide:

  • Casualty Recovery Services
  • SWORDPLAY Basic Training
  • NeuroCadet Education
  • Human Weather Forecasting
  • Neuroecosystem Assessment
  • Receipt Recovery Operations

Funding remains inconsistent. Bullshit remains abundant. The mission continues.

Official Department Motto

Read your own damn gauges.

Secondary Motto

You can't outrun your nervous system. It keeps receipts.

Notice

  • The Department of Human Weather is a fictional agency.
  • Human Weather is not.

 

Respectfully,

 

General FiĂ°rildi

Department of Human Weather

 

Making the Invisible Shit Visible Since Humans Started Humaning™